I have many times. I've asked for a boyfriend I didn't need, a dog I couldn't keep, a friend that didn't care, and a car that I couldn't afford. Loved having them all while they were not good for me. I did not find joy in people, places, and things.
In life I was looking for passion and He gave me love. I was searching for pleasure and He gave me peace. I was looking everywhere else but at Him. I never got all that I wanted. Oh, but I was given so much more. I didn't see Him at first. I'm so glad He saw me.
I hurt all over. I was in pain. I couldn't walk. I couldn't stand. My legs had atrophied and I laid prostrate on the ground. I was lying on my face scratching at the dirt as others would pass me by. I stopped desiring to feel better. This was my lot in life. I didn't question why I was born this way. I didn't care anymore. I just needed to survive. The more I tried to get out of the mire the more I was sucked in. I had nowhere to go in this illness because I was on the lowest rung. As if I was in quicksand I was stuck in this cycle. I tried climbing out many times but my arms didn't have the strength to get me over the edge. My legs wouldn't move. I was paralyzed by sin. So, I would fall right back into the mud. I was covered in it. I had hit the bottom and then, I wallowed in it. The mud was strangling me and little by little I was losing air. I decided this is all there is for me. Its a dangerous place to be when you lose all hope. You stop fighting for yourself. I had stopped wanting to be helped. I stopped wanting more for my life. My mind was numb...
And my heart was as paralyzed. It didn't move though it beat in rhythm.
That is until one day through others God whispered to me that there was more. I couldn't stand the stabbing pain everywhere else in my body. I had ignored my heart but my body was feeling the disease, my all encompassing sin had eroded me to the bone. This ache had become too great and things of this world never satisfied me long enough to get through the pain. Praise God! He heard my cry and this is my story:
There is healing POWER in His name. His name is Jesus "Yeshua" and his name means salvation.
There once was this beggar.... "Peter and John went to the Temple one afternoon to take part in the three o'clock prayer service. As they approached the temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money. Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, 'Look at us!' The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting a gift. But Peter said, 'I don't have any money for you. But I'll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, get up and walk!' Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man's feet and anklebones were healed and strengthened. He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them." Act 3:1-8
The beggar asked everyday for money and He just needed Jesus. He was content to just lay there but God wanted more for Him. Day in and day out the beggar had the pattern of asking for and wanting the wrong thing. He didn't know any better because he was born this way. He was stuck in a rut literally. He couldn't move on to bigger and better things. He couldn't move at all. Faith in Jesus' name alone healed this cripple man. What strength must have surged in the lame man's boy! What power must have reformed his bones! How beautiful that our God didn't let him stay this way. How compassionate is our Savior that He reached out through his servants to give the man a restored body so that he wouldn't have to beg anymore. I'm sure he was tired of lying in the dirt. I bet he was sick of being ignored. I could imagine the beggar stomach rumbling thinking when will I eat again. In the time before being politically correct people would not willingly associate with someone who had paralysis. It must have been lonely on the ground while everyone was above him and passing him by. This puts a whole other spin to being talked down to. I ache for this man because he was me. All alone, dirty, hungry, and tired. Begging for something and getting healed in the process. Thank God for the apostles that saw him that day. Thank God for Jesus who set the man free. Thank God He saw me. He healed my body and my heart. There is transforming power in His name.
"The name of Jesus has healed this man--and you know how lame he was before. Faith in Jesus' name has caused this healing before your very eyes." Act 3:16
Faith in Jesus' name healed me too. I just had to know who to ask for: Jesus. I had to set my pride aside and say, "Jesus, the way I am living my life isn't working for me anymore. In fact, I am dying inside. I need you to forgive me and to help me to live a new life for you. I accept your death on the cross as a remission of my sins. Please have your blood wash them away and radically change my heart. Amen"
What are you looking for? With Jesus there is more. He is everything you ever want or need. Don't settle for less. People, places, and things won't fill you up. The lame man kept having to beg for money until his needs were finally satisfied from the only one who has the power to change his life. I decided I wanted to be healed more than this other thing. I let God be my all. He created you to walk daily with Him instead of lying down broken. So, have faith in His name and you too can stand and move healed with Him.
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